Master babysitter?

Had a random conversation with Mr Evil today on skype and all of a sudden He asks "Did I ever tell you about the adult babysitter job I almost took?".

i just, uhm, no He didn't. Had to know more so nosy me asked. Turns out He found this ad or something (Don't know really and not sure i want to know) and it turns out: "this couple, a mommy mistress and a sissy male baby were looking for a baby sitter". Apparently she wanted to go out some nights and didn't want to leave her baby alone. it paid like 20$ an hour and very strict on not being sexual.

What on earth do you say to that? i was.. well.. stunned and to be honest i laughed. Just the image of my Master being someone's babysitter, kinky babysitter at that is just too strange but it brought on a much needed laugh.

i'm sorry if anyone reading this is into all that but.. it was funny. Please don't be offended people. To each their own.

Question - What do you call your Dom/me or submissive?

Its pretty interesting jumping around on the D/s blogs out there, reading about their lifes, Dom/mes and submissives and its just as interesting reading about what all of you call your partner in kink.

When i started this blog i asked Mr Evil if He had requirements for what i call Him (and not call Him for that matter) on here but He could never give me a straight answer. So I started calling Him Mr Evil. Mostly cause i think He is evil most times. i pretend i hate Him for it, but really i don't, i have this love hate relationship with the mean side of Him. Truth be told, life would be boring without it.

Anyway.. so my question is this. What do you call your Dom/me and/or submissive? Feel free to add reasons for it as well as the names you'd never say to their face laughs.

Daddy's little girl

Its pretty strange how "normal" none D/s things in your life can change the more kinky side of you.

Been away from the blog world a few days again, but this time cause of being sick. Sounds like a pretty normal none D/s thing doesn't it? Thing is.. normally i call my Dom, Master or on the blog Mr Evil. On very rare occasions Daddy. Now that i've been sick and been feeling rather miserable calling Him Daddy has been so much easier and has almost been a need of mine. Maybe its because i've been feeling like that helpless little girl who just wants someone to take care of her and look after her. Either way, i'm rather amazed.

Needs and wants

Was writing a new post last night before bed, never sent it to Mr Evil for approval thou as i realized the subject in it wasn't really for your eyes, it was for His. Putting it into words was hard, much harder then i thought it would be but making us talk about it was even harder. Never know what to say and this language thing is seriously a problem at times when i can't find the words i'm looking for. i know now what people mean when they say their blog has helped their relationship. i needed to write that post to come to terms with myself, to figure out what i need. Our relationship isn't always about what i want, but a need is something different, isn't it?
Feels like i'm being this demanding little girl desperately seeking attention from her Daddy.

Just a thought

All my posts has to be approved by Master before being published... but cant help but wonder what exactly He'd allow in my post and what would get deleted. Maybe i could ask for a list or something?

Sometimes

How can life be such a rollercoaster?

One minute its filled with smiles, kind words and the best time in the world. Suddenly its the opposite. At times things happen so fast i don't even know what went wrong. One hell of a learning curve thats for sure, just hope to figure things out.

Question ...Do you shave, down there?

These question posts are starting to become a small habit of mine. Maybe i should do a weekly thing with them? (they are fyi the posts that gets the most views too, got to mean something right)

Anyway.. So i have been away from the blog community for almost two days and had a lot of reading to catch up on when i got home from work this afternoon. One made me laugh so hard i was almost in tear. Its was the post on the "Jumping on it" blog about the meeting with the Dom and how shaving can go so wrong laughs. If you haven't read it, go on.. read it. You know you want too.

So that leads me to todays question/s.
Do you shave, down there? and do you prefer your partner to be?

This was actually a subject to come up with my female friends awhile ago and it seems every female i know under the age of 40 does shave. Some shave all of it and some just trim. So are my friends normal? And what about the guys. kinda interested in knowing now. So.. if you don't mind sharing. Please do.

Good girl

Two words that send shivers down my spine. It makes me smile even if i one second earlier was crying.
It has such a huge impact on my mood but also on my behavior. Makes me want to better myself to hear it again. The things i'd do to get a pat on the head and to hear those words from Mr Evil. Strange really isnt it?
Strange that two words can do that to a girl like me. i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this way but doesn't make it less strange.

Mr Evil asked me the other day if i think He's being too nice to me. He thinks He is, at times. But i had to point out that the only reason i think He feels like that is cause He hasn't had the opportunity to be really mean (cruel, evil) to me in awhile. He has a need to cause pain and i have a huge need to feel it. Haven't really thought about why but lack of pain for awhile just has me slightly depressed and i cant help but think He's the same way when it comes to causing it. While talking and thinking about all that i realized something, a very twisted thought as Master called it. What if He created my need for pain only so He could cause it? smiles. Now that's something to think about.

Have generally done a lot of thinking this weekend, the biggest challenge being to finish a task Mr Evil gave me before He went to bed yesterday. He told me i had to kneel in the shower after being done with the normal shower routine and come up with 3 things i'd like to change for Him. 3 things i'd like to improve and i wasn't allowed to leave the shower until i had. i then had to send Him a e-mail with the list, why they were on there and how we could work on these things together. No feedback on it yet (due to lack of time, i think) but it has me slightly worried... i guess i'll have to keep you updated.

Question... does blogging inprove your relationship?

Being new in the BDSM blog community (as a writer at least) i can't help but wonder if writing about your D/s relationship makes it better or worse.

There are a million blogs like mine out there and even thou they all focus on kinda the same things they are all very different. They all talk about their relationships or sometimes lack of them (in one way or another). Some subs (like me) need to have their posts approved by their Dom/me before posting and some doesn't but it gives the Dom/me insight to their subs way of thinking either way doesn't it?

i've read a few blogposts here and there that i've had the need to share with my Dom. Used it to start a conversation about something i feel we need to talk about, or just to get His thoughts on things. Very useful when someone puts my thoughts down in words (something i generally find hard, specially due to language difficulty). Even if it hasn't been long, i feel that me starting this blog was a smart move and i'm thankful Mr Evil thought so too, allowing me to start one. i'm pretty sure i'll be taking the blame for Him starting one sooner or later laughs but i'm glad He decided to start one too.

so the Question is, does your BDSM blog improve your relationship or no?

Original Story

E-mail from slave at work suggested posting the original story I rewrote (located on my blog) now so as to not confuse our readers. In summary she wrote this story for me and convinced me to rewrite it. Rewrite is here Will and Chaos. As a warning to all Dom/mes I'm telling you now. When your slave is a teacher it means you still get homework.

Its just past midnight and you are about to get off work. Since I had the need for the car today you let me borrow it if I came and picked you up when your shift ended.

As you get out of work you spot me in my black dress you like so much leaning back against the car playing with the keys in my hand. I smile towers you and walk to meet you. You slip a hand down over my back and whisper a soft "hello slut" in my ear. I start blushing knowing that the fact I did will only make people wonder even more about what it was you said. I kiss your cheek, handing you the keys giving you a proper hello. Eyes scanning the cars close by trying to make out if someone heard me. We jump in the car and head home. Not more then a few seconds after we leave the store you put your hand on my thigh giving it a rather painful squeeze. I soon pick up on the fact that you had a bad day as we make small talk. I bite my bottom lip wondering if the plan I had might backfire on me before I even started it. Your hand climb higher up on my thigh and makes its way under my dress only to find I'm not wearing underwear. The red color on my cheeks turn darker as I look away. I can hear you telling me to look at you and I struggle some to follow orders. The shivers roll down my spine as I finally look up at you,Terrified of what you'll say.

I can tell from the look in your eyes that you don't know what to say. Maybe you are pleased to see me without underwear not having told me or maybe you are wondering why. I open my mouth to say something but you put a finger against my lips to make me not. I gasp trying to look at you from the corner of my eye. You say nothing and pull over at a spot not visible from the road but still close enough to attract other passing cars in need of a break.

You get out of the car and comes round to my side, opening the door and pulls me out by my hair pushing me against the side of the car. I'm stuck between you and the car with no chance of getting anywhere. You slip your hand under my dress and without hesitation push two fingers into my already wet pussy, your teeth nibbling the side of my neck while whispering "and my dirty little slut is already wet" I can see the smirk on your face before I turn away. You take my hand and place it on your crotch while pulling the zipper down making me blush even more. You yank my hair to make me move with you to the front of the car, after making me face the car you make me lean over it. My dress up around my waist leaving my sex fully exposed to you. I can feel your hands on my arse squeezing roughly and your hard cock brush over it. Your soft lips against my skin as you bite my shoulder. I close my eyes to embarrassed to look, scared that someone will see us. I can hear the chuckle from you knowing you understand perfectly well why I'm scared. Your cock pushes into me hard making me scream and grab the sides of the car. You move in and out of my dripping wet sex a few times hard but slow before I can feel the tip of your cock push against my arse. I bite my lip hard mumbling a soft "Master please don't, please I'll do anything" but my begging doest help one bit and you slowly push your cock all the way into my tight arse with a loud moan. I try my best to control my emotions but tears start rolling down my face as you continue to fuck me. Your hand coming down on my arse hard as I feel you cum in me. I wipe the tears from my face not wanting you to see as you turn me over and kiss the spot on my shoulder you sunk your teeth into. You wipe your cock clean against my pussy before pulling your pants back up. You place a soft kiss on my cheek and tell me I have until we get home to cum, if I don't I'm not allowed to cum all week. We jump back into the car and drive home, with me fingering myself while you focus on the road.

When it alot, too much?

As i'm standing there at the gym all hot and sticky from the workout i have only one thought in my head.
Well actually i guess you could call it two. With only a few minutes to go before its all over, my body is just hurting so bad and i want to get it over with. All i can think about at that exact moment is "Don't give up, you can do this if not for you then for Master" and all of a sudden its just.. easier.

There has been a few situations like this lately where my focus goes to Master, even if He's not there to tell me what to do or how to behave. i guess when my own energy fails i can rely on His (even if He's not always aware of it), but is it wrong? Am i at times leaning too much on him for support  and guidance through times in life thats far from easy.. or is it in fact His job as my Master to do so?

At times when life isn't showing itself from the sunny side i guess the need is much bigger then normal. Not only the need for energy but for support, understanding and of course Love. Where would we be without it?

The thing is, that question brings my head to a totally different place. Can there be such a thing as a successful BDSM or D/s (depending on what you want to call it) relationship without love? is it possible to have that perfect, awesome, rewarding (and i guess sexual) relationship without some kind of love? not saying it has to be the traditional kind but one kind. Or maybe its time to put a stop to our beliefs in fairy tales.

With that said, i don't think there is a lack of love in my own relationship with Master. This was just one of those random thoughts that fly around in my head from time to time.

A upside down world isn't a good thing

For the first time since i started this blog (a week ago) my head is empty. The last few days have been.. a handful. The world has just been upside down. One of those weeks when everything that could go wrong does, including upsetting Mr Evil. Knowing that He's upset (angry, disappointed you get the idea) makes my world fall apart. Still surprises me every time how much that can and will effect my over all mood. Cant help but wonder, does He feel the same way if He upsets me?

This morning i'm grateful we moved past it. He accepted my somewhat creative apology and He's smiling again, which means so am i. Sadly, the rest of the things that has been going wrong this week there is nothing, nothing anyone can do anything about it.

Don't take this the wrong way, but i don't like not being in control of my life. Its kinda like when you see two cars about to crash into each other but there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Does any of this make sense? Kinda hoping you'll understand what i mean but my mind is all over the place right now.

Erotic e-mail to Mr Evil (1)

Ok, so since Mr Evil came with the idea to post some of the many erotic e-mails he got from me, the thought of publishing them hasn't left my mind. i cant stop thinking about it. A big part of me screams NO and the other thinks it would be rather interesting to see the comment on it all. The Internet will always be the Internet and guess i'm kinda scared someone will trash my private stories, or the way i do them, spell etc. If i do this maybe its one less fear to deal with after? Has to count for something right? A big part of me is hoping M will be proud of me for doing it too, for being brave enough to expose a private part of myself and our relationship.

*deep breath* Ok, here it comes. Maybe the first and the last. Or it could be the first of many. i always write them for Him as in You but since its going to be published here i did give it a little re write.

--------------------------
She sits in front of her computer writing a e-mail to one of her female friends. One she hasn't talked to in a very long time when suddenly she feels a pair of hands on her shoulders. Small shivers roll down her spine while the smile on her lips slowly grows from big to huge.

She turns around and places a kiss on His stomach looking up at Him with a sparkle in her eye.
His girl stands up and places a kiss on His cheek whispering "i love You Master" before her kisses slowly moves down across His body, her hands resting on His hips as she pulls Him down on the chair.

She quickly kneels in front of Him as her hands brush up the inside of His thighs. A big smile on her face as her hand gently wrap around His cock at the exact same time as her lips do, smiling up at Him while loudly sucking Him. His eyes meet hers as she looks up at Him happily. His cock quickly grows between her lips as her body rubs against Him.

The smile on her lips soon turn into a grin as she asks with the sweetest voice ever "Master, please let this horny little slut feel Your cock in her pussy.. pleeease?" The wait for a answer is making her nervous as He just looks at her. He finally gives her a nod in reply with a silent "yes you may mine".

 He tells her to stand up and makes her twirl around. She bends forward slightly taking His cock in her hands gently pressing it to her pussy. Her whole body sinking back onto it. A loud moan mixed with a  whimper escapes from her lips. The smile on her face is hard to miss as He fucks her hard.....

How do you get attention?

When you want nothing else but some attention and the person you want it from doesn't seem to notice, What do you do?

If it was a friend, family member etc if would be easy to just pick up the phone and call them right. i know thats what i'd do. Tricky thing is, when this person is your Dom/me. How do you do it? i don't know about everyone else but poking for attention isn't really a good thing to do, well.. ok sometimes it is and it could even be considered cute but generally no. Phone call is either way out of the question, text message.. well could work but not if this subbie wants a answer. So whats left, e-mails. How on earth do you write a e-mail that doesn't scream "give me attention please?" and how do you write it without turning it into a request or demand.

Its hard, and i just realized a little ago just how hard it really is.
Anyone have ideas?

Question... do you swallow?

That is todays question. Do you swallow?
Do i really need to clarify what i mean by that.. well in case you are clueless (which i seriously doubt since you're here in the first place) i was talking about cum. 

(Cant believe i'm actually writing this post but i had a strange need to).

Just read the "Business as usual" post over at the A Neo Dom's journey blog and there was a comment about just this. Does the sub of the author take cum in her mouth or not. This has me thinking. Does most women (and men for that matter) swallow or at least willing to take in their mouth. blushes yes i know its a strange, odd, weird thing to be thinking about. i've always been under the impression that most females do. Maybe i was wrong?


This thought also bring me to another question. If you do swallow and you happen to be submissive. Do you do  it to please your Dom/me or cause you like it?

i guess Mr Evil is right, i am nosy.

Innocent bubble

Sometimes our conversations are just...

______
M: do you know Emma Watson?

s: its the girl in Harry Potter so yes

M: it's amazing how many are obsessed with finding nip slips of her, and I found another shot of her wear clear panties

s: omg..
s: Thats just wrong.

M: you know there's an upskirt in one of the movies right?

s: havent noticed.

M: http://img.chan4chan.com/img/2009-02-21/1235229288961.jpg

s: omg!

M: see?
M: and she was way too young back then

s: yeah but the thing is, the fact that someone would notice.. it just.. wrong.

M: well it could of been a 13 year old boy who notived

s: yeah right.
s: no way in hell

M: what, a 13 year old boy cant be crushing on her?

s: I dont care, its still wrong
s:  lol

M: 11 year old boy sitting in the front row of a huge ass screen because the rest of the seats are taken. He's in the middle and looks up and sees a patch of white on grey and shouts 'I see panties!' is that wrong?
s: But how can you even notice if you're really paying attention to the movie? We are talking like a screen shot thats maybe 5seconds long.
M: because guys inherently look to the crotch when a skirt goes up a leg
M: and look at it this way.. the fim makers saw that scene over and over and over again, and not one noticed

s: or they did and left it on purpose!
s: OMG!

M grins
M: well yes, there is that conclusion I was hoping to steer you to

s: ewww!

M pops your innocence bubble

Not having you here to smack

So Stupid..

The other night, i messed up. M was angry, annoyed and i think frustrated. It was stupid, i was stupid. Such a silly thing to mess up on. To be honest, i don't get in trouble much but when i do it's usually over something bad, real bad. Even more reason for why yesterday was so.. blah. How could i be so stupid?

i hate getting punished. i guess you're suppose to right?
When my mind reaches the point where it understands and accepts i've done something wrong, i punish myself harder then He ever can. Even when its all over, and i'm forgiven. He's smiling again and everything is back to normal. Back to a place where it seems my mistake never even happened. I'm in tears, feeling like the worst person in the world for letting Him down. Sad and upset about the fact that I disappointed Him.

It doesn't make sense, He's ok and even forgave me. Why cant i forgive myself?

Something he said last night i cant shake from my mind "it is so frustrating not having you here to smack when I'm angry with you". He's right, it is frustrating and in a way i keep telling myself that punishment would be so much easier (ok that sounds wrong, better might be a more true word) if He could do just that, send me to my room for being a bad girl and cuddle me after. Sigh, sometimes things are just harder then what they need to be.

From M to me

Since we were talking about erotic e-mails etc. i found one from M to me, its only fair i publish one of His if i'm going to publish one of mine right? No worries, i did ask permission first and He did say it was ok. 


----


Your fingertips dig into your skin as you wince, spreading your ass cheeks painfully wide as I thrust once more into your small tight asshole where you only allow your Owner. My heavy breathing over you while my palms press into your sides. You shriek out after another thrust inside you, your skin stretched painfully. Your head lays at the top of the bed unable to hold yourself up, and every time my balls slap against your cunt your head just barely touches the brass headboard. I pause and let out a moan, you take advantage of it to get in a proper breath before pushing back as hard as you can bring yourself to do even before I begin moving again, desperately trying to show me what a bitch you are for the cock splitting your asshole open. A moan from your lips surprises even yourself when your back arches a little bit more.


I grin and push inside you a few more times 'I knew my bitch loved this.' you shake your head muttering out 'no.. no' even if you know it's true. I smack your ass hard, hitting over your hand and you pull it away, releasing one of your own ass cheeks. You start to move it back but before you can my own hand grips in it's place, and pulls you hard, my cock slipping from you. I push you aside, forcing you to the floor growl out 'on your knees' before moving to the edge of the bed myself. You know intimately where my tool has been but your need to serve me is so much more important. By the time you get on your knees my hand is pulling you by your hair as my legs open more, and you shove your mouth down on my length, sucking hard and swirling your tongue around it.


Knowing what your Master loves from your time serving your fingertips move over my cum heavy balls, stroking gently over them. When I pull you up high enough so your throat isn't filled with me, lowering you to my sack you take immediate action. Thanking me for the chance to breath unobstructed, you desperately start lapping at my balls, running your tongue over it, sucking the best you can. I've trained you well and you know better then to leave my hard cock unattended. Quickly you wrap your small hand around me tight, stroking me slowly so that it can be enjoyed above your head while you lap at my balls.


My words interrupt your work 'You've been a good bitch, where do you want my cum slut' almost immediately you reply 'Inside your bitch's cunt Master.' I allow you back on the bed and just say 'show me.' You immediately get on the bed and spread your legs as wide as you can. Your sensitive slit barely touched so far wet dripping wet. You watch my lust filled eyes as I continue to touch myself while your lips are spread wide. You hurriedly stroke your clit, and it's not long before your back moves further away and you start asking to be filled. You finger fuck yourself with one hand while the other keeps moving around your clit, breathing heavier and heavier, desperately aching now. You ask once more and I allow it, pulling your legs around me and pushing my hard cock in between the dripping folds of your sex.


I moan and start moving faster eagerly in need of my own release as your tension builds itself, pushing back the best you can but it's not much. You just keep working your clit with my cock inside you, hoping you'll be allowed to cum with me. You can feel when I'm close and you work your fingers desperately faster, excited when you touch my cock fucking you. You just barely manage to get out 'Please let your.. let your bitch cum Master' I order back to cum with me. We both fight it for a few moments longer, wanting this to last forever, but it feels so good when it doesn't. Unsure if your release triggered mine or I triggered yours we both cum, and just hold each other tight as my seed fills you.


I'm sure your completely focused on work now.


M.

How it all started - a work in progress

DAMN! Had the best post ever and firefox restarted and its gone.

---------------------------

This could be one of those stories about how i knew this was for me and have known for all my life. Sorry but in my case thats bullshit, sure i've always had this need to please and not being able to do just that upsets me. i want people happy and usually do my best to make sure they are. Sadly that has over the years also meant that i've always put others before myself. Which in my book isn't always a good thing. There is a fine line between doing your best and taking it to levels where it hurts you more then do good. What's even more sad is that there will always, always be people that uses your kindness.

So, how did all this start? i dont know, i honestly dont know. Sure i've always been the type of person to like the "kinky". Never the person to say no to rough sex or a set of handcuffs but thats it. About 3,5 years ago I ran into some people on-line who more or less pushed me into the world of D/s. It was exciting, new, fun and in a lot of way liberating. Always being the person to take control over things isn't easy, specially not when you realize you're only doing it cause its a must, not cause its a desire. Somewhere in the middle of all this i met Mr Evil. He was unlike anyone i ever met before and from the first moment we chatted i could tell there was something different about Him. We quickly became friends and then some. Thats how it all started. The journey was beginning.

At first it was all smiles and tons of emotions as He slowly guided me into the world of submission. But things didn't go as planned and i wasn't what he was looking for. Of course i wasn't. At the time i didn't know what i wanted and what to do with myself. We went on to a great friendship with the odd benefit here and there but i could never get The Man out of my head. He was always there and from time to time i even had dreams about him (Shh, dont tell Him that). During all of this i grew as a person and carefully started to figure out what i wanted. There were others (for both of us) but none like Him. There isn't a person in the world that can compete with Mr Evil.

Things continued as a roller coaster between us, there were smiles and there were tears. A lot of emotion passed by both of us for some time as we managed to not hurt only our selfs but also each other. We lost trust in each other and things just faded off into nothing. i can honestly say i was sad and He was missed. A lot of water had to pass under the bridge before we could build up the trust between us again. Now its stronger then ever and i'm so happy to have Him back in my life. i never get to blame things on Him but there is one thing he really needs to take the blame for (actually two but we'll get back to that).

Cause of Him i know myself better then ever before, my confidence is mountain high and i know He'll never ever do anything to make the ground crumble under me. He showed me sides of myself i didn't know was there. He made me love and desire things i used to hate. i can honestly say He makes me a better person and for that i'm thankful. We made it through so much to get here, but you know what. It was all worth it. I wouldn't trade the experience or Him for anything in the world.

Sadly, there is one last thing that has to be crossed. The Atlantic Ocean.

Suggestion

Was having a conversation with Mr Evil over skype before bed yesterday. Talking about what the rules are when writing this blog (yes, there are rules) and about what could, should and will be written on it. His suggestion was that i should post some of the more erotic e-mails He got from me over the years. That totally made my head spin, those e-mails werent written to be shared. They are written for Him and Him only. Dont know why it made me nervous thou, its not like anyone who reads this knows who i am anyway right? i guess its maybe cause they show a side of me no one ever seen, no one but Him that is. So the question still lays unanswered. Should i or shouldnt i post some of the e-mails happening between Him and me.

Was it a D/s couple or...

So last week i was strolling around in my favourite clothing store in the underwear department and this "normal" looking couple was standing next to me. my guess both the male and female was around 25-30 years old. The girl was looking at a specific set of underwear that was very transparent and you could understand from their conversation that it would show off her nipples. The male looked and her and shook his head with a loud No. She asked him what he meant and he (without any emotion on his face) said "not discussing this, you know what's allowed and what's not. I said no". She blushes deep red and puts it back on the rack. He put his hand at the back of her neck giving it a squeeze (thats when I saw what was around it). He smiles and tells her what a good girl she was and they walk away.

The whole thing made me smile and i cant help but wonder if this means i actually ran into my first random D/s couple. What do you think?


Why i find this interesting is something i'll have to save for another day and another post.

Hi and Welcome!

i dont really know how to start all this but Hi and Welcome to my new little corner of the world. i've been here and there all over the blogger community since early 2005 but as a new chapter is about to start in my life (in alot of way it already has) i felt it needed a new blog. There are things i know i'll be wanting to get out of my system and feel the need to write down that just doesnt fit on my "normal" blog. i'd kill my mom in a heartattack hehe.

Where the path i'm on really started i dont really know but i promise that as time goes by i'll do my best to sort my head out. Somethings has happened fast and others has taken time. One thing i do know is why i'm here and who is to blame for that... allthou this girl isnt totally sure He agrees. Right now i cant really tell you what this little corner of mine is going to be filled with but along with everything else i'm sure i'll figure that out too.
So once again, Welcome.