Good girl vs Bad girl points..

Mr Evil has given me more freedom and more power over my own sexuality. Cant say i remember why we had the conversation in the first place but, one day we talked about my orgasms. Like a lot of subs out there i need to ask permission. Something which makes me not do it a lot unless we play or talk etc. Mostly cause its a bit frustrating getting worked up and not have Him answer my text cause of work or something.

So, Mr Evil has designed a good girl/bad girl point system allowing me more freedom with for example using point to have a orgasm without asking first. Of course there are some rules to this system.

To earn good girl points i can for example:
- post three blogspost in a week = 1 point.
- gain a blog follower = 2 points
- post getting comments = 2 points
- not gain a bad girl points = 1 point/week up to max of 3 points/week
etc.. 

i can also use the good girl point for:
3 points to orgasm without asking
2 points to "delete" a bad girl point

The number of earned (sounds so serious) bad girl points will decide what kind of punishment i will get.
Mr Evil feels that sometimes there are things that i do wrong, thats not a good thing.. but still not bad enough to really punish me for.. so now i guess He can wait and punish me until i collected "enough" bad girl points.

A bit confusing isn't it? Feel the same but i'm sure we'll get the hang of it soon enough.
And.. of course Mr Evil can give me both good point and bad points for small or big things i do.

His greedy little slut.

This girl isn't even allowed to keep pleasure to herself. Geez, Greedy Mr Evil... 

To be fair.. i had this one coming. Another selection of sextoys ended up in my mailbox a while back and i was allowed to make the choice myself without Him really saying much of anything about it. i picked two things and one of them got sent my way. This time it was a bondage kit in bright pink. A set of rope cuffs with a blindfold and gag included. Already own a blindfold and gag but cant have too many right. 

So.. it all started with me being his greedy little slut asking if i was allowed to play before bed. He thought about it for awhile and then said i could.... but only if i included my new toys. 

Of course He had an idea about how his little girl should put these to the test.. 

Sometimes i should just keep my mouth shut and stop giving Him ideas. 

He starts off carefully and tells me i have to put one cuff around my left ankle, the other around my right and then put both ends of those around my left wrist.  I was then told to put the same arm behind my head, which forced my tied ankles in the air. Sounds simple enough right? i have to admit i did sigh a little.. and got told off for it too i might add but i still had a smile on my face and agreed to those terms.. then comes the hard part. He tells me i have to do it gagged and blindfolded too.. Once again i agree and just as i'm about to end the call He goes "Oh.. and babygirl, nippleclamps on and plugged too". What now?! and here i thought i was going to get away easy for once. i should so know better. 

I could hear the huge grin on His face as he quickly ends the call, not giving much room for complaints.

He did manage to squeeze in a request for a picture before hanging up the phone. Leaving His girl to do as she's told... In the end i'm glad i was made to wear the gag.. and so glad the guy next door wasn't home. 

The cuffs sure leaves a lot of possibilities and i like the softness in something so evil, but have to say i like the gag more then the cuffs. Its way more comfy then the one i already own, even if i prefer black over pink. 

Just hope Mr Evil is around for His proper Thank you soon...

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

My summer holiday is coming up (actually celebrating midsummer in Sweden today, Yay for national holidays) and things at work are slowing down some, at last. When your mind isn't filled with work and other stressful things it gives you (in this case me) time to think about things differently.

The latest subject on my mind has been needs. i came across Maslow's hierarchy of needs again the other day and it got me thinking. (If you have no idea what on earth i'm on about.. look here ).

To me it seems alot of people have flipped the pyramid. Putting more focus on self- actualization then basic needs. At one point i did too, but i learned my lesson and life doesn't work too well that way. Its easy to tip the pyramid over if you take care of the "top" needs first.  So how does this connect to D/s.. well when a Dom goes in and starts "controlling" their subs life.. What part do they go for first? Like everything else that depends on the Dom i'm sure.. but wouldn't it be more effective to go for the basics first? Sleep for example.. or Sex?

Where does your biggest needs fit in? What need is the most important after the basic ones?

My needs change over time.. but right now, right this minute i'd do anything for hug or ten.

Secretary

SPOILER ALERT!!  

Haven't seen it? Then watch it and don't ready my post, unless you want the juicy details before watching it.

Why does it feel like i'm the last one to see this movie?
People are on about how awesome it is and how its shows the kind of D/s relationship that they are looking for. When i've heard the same thing enough times its bound to get me interested sooner or later, in this case.. Later. Don't know why it got me interested this time and not the 100 times before but i just had to see what on earth everyone seems to be on about.

i wouldn't call it the best movie ever, not even that awesome... except for the D/s parts. Some scenes made me blush not cause it was naughty or anything but more cause it could have been me rushing up to His (as in my Daddy) house wanting to express my need for pain but ends up saying something else.
My favorite scene is when she is having sex with her boyfriend, actually just making out. Which then leads to sex, she does her best to get him to spank her but fails. After he's done having sex with her, he goes  "I didn't hurt you did I?". The disappointment in her face is just.. awesome.That right there is why i can never ever have a pure vanilla relationship ever again.

Not hard to see why people love this movie.
From a subs point of view, i can feel her frustration and the emotions when he stops playing with her. The moments when she is trying so hard to impress but fails, when she does things she isn't allowed to do in attempt to get his attention or when she tries to prove her love to him. Nice to know good girls get rewarded.

Its not hard to relate to things in that movie..
Still haven't seen it? Then you should, if nothing else just to know what on earth people are on about.
Have you seen it? Leave a comment with your opinion, please?

Favourite D/s song

You have one of those favourite songs with a D/s meaning don't you?
i do.. and my latest favourite is a fresh one, allthou i like the remix better then the original. Below is just the audio of the remix but if you haven't seen the original video, google it. Its cool.

Daddy's babygirl

Been thinking about writing a post on the topic for awhile but since everyone else (ok not everyone but alot of bloggers) are doing it i thought maybe it was time.

Pretty sure most of you have seen the subject fry by in a post  of mine here and there. It's been one of those things that came up in conversations with Mr Evil more then once. He made me pull that side of myself out for Him from time to time. There was a time when it was almost impossible and i only did it to please Him (this is years ago). As always things change, He makes me change, sometimes without me even realizing. Calling my Dom Daddy softens Him, and it would be a lie if i said i had never taken advantage of that fact. To say i've used it to get my way isn't true thou. Never been able to use it like that without getting caught. Not saying i haven't tried it, cause i have but as always He can see right through me.

Don't really know how it happened. Slowly been sinking into the whole Daddy's little girl thing. Its one of those things i sink into when He calls me little one, little girl, babygirl etc. He can get me in that mood in no time and i still have no idea how (again, cant believe He made me enjoy something i was so against at one point). Not hard to tell that He likes it and of course i want to keep Him smiling.

When the whole anal thing played a few weeks ago i promised i would be His little good girl all week in exchange for a orgasm. Maybe cause i knew He wouldn't say no then? Either way, last week put me right in the little girl mood. Just the simple little things like greeting Him in the morning with "Morning Daddy" and getting a "morning babygirl" back  He gave me small harmless tasks during the whole week too that just made the Daddy thing even more intense. Little things that to some might not matter but it got me to where He wanted me (or so i think). Cause thats how it is right? Evil Dom's always plan everything in advance and always have a goal with everything they say, do (and tell you to do)?.

The week is long gone, i'm no longer required to do the Daddy thing.. but it sticks. Maybe cause i like it. i know He enjoys it and a week is all it took for it to be a habit. Don't really know but feels weird to call Him Master now. Daddy comes more natural. He looks after me, takes care of me, keeps me safe and most importantly makes me feel like the most loved person in the world. We just have a weird way of showing it sometimes giggles.

So to the people out there that are totally against it. Open your mind and give it a try, you might be surprised. And just cause people does the Daddy thing doesn't mean they take it further then that. Some do, some don't. But we are all adults (i hope) so what people do is their choice (unless its illegal).

Embrace your kink people!

Dirty thoughts

As always my mind is spinning with a million thoughts, ideas and fantasies. The latest thing floating around in my head is naughty. Not so much naughty itself but more how to bring ideas or fantasies to your Dom/me that you are embarrased to have. Not sure any of this is making sense but picture this.

You have this idea (or fantasy) thats been playing in your head for awhile and just the fact that its in your mind makes you blush. The thought of admitting to this makes you nauseas and wanting to crawl out of your own skin.What do you do?

Thats whats been playing in my head for awhile, not saying i have any of those "dark" thoughts at the moment but i'm sure i will at some point and it just crossed my mind that i have no idea how to carry myself in a situation like this. Sure, you should and probebly will end up telling your Dom/me but if they arent in to the same thing and it never gets brought up.... Do you tell them? or maybe wait for it to be pulled out of you? if its not a need or desire would not sharing really matter?

i should so not be allowed to think at time laughs so many things play in my mind.. and yes, for the record i'm usually not to keen on exposing my sluttyness to the rest of the world and there for not really one to admit to my more.. kinky sides.

Question... does blogging inprove your relationship?

Being new in the BDSM blog community (as a writer at least) i can't help but wonder if writing about your D/s relationship makes it better or worse.

There are a million blogs like mine out there and even thou they all focus on kinda the same things they are all very different. They all talk about their relationships or sometimes lack of them (in one way or another). Some subs (like me) need to have their posts approved by their Dom/me before posting and some doesn't but it gives the Dom/me insight to their subs way of thinking either way doesn't it?

i've read a few blogposts here and there that i've had the need to share with my Dom. Used it to start a conversation about something i feel we need to talk about, or just to get His thoughts on things. Very useful when someone puts my thoughts down in words (something i generally find hard, specially due to language difficulty). Even if it hasn't been long, i feel that me starting this blog was a smart move and i'm thankful Mr Evil thought so too, allowing me to start one. i'm pretty sure i'll be taking the blame for Him starting one sooner or later laughs but i'm glad He decided to start one too.

so the Question is, does your BDSM blog improve your relationship or no?

Original Story

E-mail from slave at work suggested posting the original story I rewrote (located on my blog) now so as to not confuse our readers. In summary she wrote this story for me and convinced me to rewrite it. Rewrite is here Will and Chaos. As a warning to all Dom/mes I'm telling you now. When your slave is a teacher it means you still get homework.

Its just past midnight and you are about to get off work. Since I had the need for the car today you let me borrow it if I came and picked you up when your shift ended.

As you get out of work you spot me in my black dress you like so much leaning back against the car playing with the keys in my hand. I smile towers you and walk to meet you. You slip a hand down over my back and whisper a soft "hello slut" in my ear. I start blushing knowing that the fact I did will only make people wonder even more about what it was you said. I kiss your cheek, handing you the keys giving you a proper hello. Eyes scanning the cars close by trying to make out if someone heard me. We jump in the car and head home. Not more then a few seconds after we leave the store you put your hand on my thigh giving it a rather painful squeeze. I soon pick up on the fact that you had a bad day as we make small talk. I bite my bottom lip wondering if the plan I had might backfire on me before I even started it. Your hand climb higher up on my thigh and makes its way under my dress only to find I'm not wearing underwear. The red color on my cheeks turn darker as I look away. I can hear you telling me to look at you and I struggle some to follow orders. The shivers roll down my spine as I finally look up at you,Terrified of what you'll say.

I can tell from the look in your eyes that you don't know what to say. Maybe you are pleased to see me without underwear not having told me or maybe you are wondering why. I open my mouth to say something but you put a finger against my lips to make me not. I gasp trying to look at you from the corner of my eye. You say nothing and pull over at a spot not visible from the road but still close enough to attract other passing cars in need of a break.

You get out of the car and comes round to my side, opening the door and pulls me out by my hair pushing me against the side of the car. I'm stuck between you and the car with no chance of getting anywhere. You slip your hand under my dress and without hesitation push two fingers into my already wet pussy, your teeth nibbling the side of my neck while whispering "and my dirty little slut is already wet" I can see the smirk on your face before I turn away. You take my hand and place it on your crotch while pulling the zipper down making me blush even more. You yank my hair to make me move with you to the front of the car, after making me face the car you make me lean over it. My dress up around my waist leaving my sex fully exposed to you. I can feel your hands on my arse squeezing roughly and your hard cock brush over it. Your soft lips against my skin as you bite my shoulder. I close my eyes to embarrassed to look, scared that someone will see us. I can hear the chuckle from you knowing you understand perfectly well why I'm scared. Your cock pushes into me hard making me scream and grab the sides of the car. You move in and out of my dripping wet sex a few times hard but slow before I can feel the tip of your cock push against my arse. I bite my lip hard mumbling a soft "Master please don't, please I'll do anything" but my begging doest help one bit and you slowly push your cock all the way into my tight arse with a loud moan. I try my best to control my emotions but tears start rolling down my face as you continue to fuck me. Your hand coming down on my arse hard as I feel you cum in me. I wipe the tears from my face not wanting you to see as you turn me over and kiss the spot on my shoulder you sunk your teeth into. You wipe your cock clean against my pussy before pulling your pants back up. You place a soft kiss on my cheek and tell me I have until we get home to cum, if I don't I'm not allowed to cum all week. We jump back into the car and drive home, with me fingering myself while you focus on the road.

When it alot, too much?

As i'm standing there at the gym all hot and sticky from the workout i have only one thought in my head.
Well actually i guess you could call it two. With only a few minutes to go before its all over, my body is just hurting so bad and i want to get it over with. All i can think about at that exact moment is "Don't give up, you can do this if not for you then for Master" and all of a sudden its just.. easier.

There has been a few situations like this lately where my focus goes to Master, even if He's not there to tell me what to do or how to behave. i guess when my own energy fails i can rely on His (even if He's not always aware of it), but is it wrong? Am i at times leaning too much on him for support  and guidance through times in life thats far from easy.. or is it in fact His job as my Master to do so?

At times when life isn't showing itself from the sunny side i guess the need is much bigger then normal. Not only the need for energy but for support, understanding and of course Love. Where would we be without it?

The thing is, that question brings my head to a totally different place. Can there be such a thing as a successful BDSM or D/s (depending on what you want to call it) relationship without love? is it possible to have that perfect, awesome, rewarding (and i guess sexual) relationship without some kind of love? not saying it has to be the traditional kind but one kind. Or maybe its time to put a stop to our beliefs in fairy tales.

With that said, i don't think there is a lack of love in my own relationship with Master. This was just one of those random thoughts that fly around in my head from time to time.

Erotic e-mail to Mr Evil (1)

Ok, so since Mr Evil came with the idea to post some of the many erotic e-mails he got from me, the thought of publishing them hasn't left my mind. i cant stop thinking about it. A big part of me screams NO and the other thinks it would be rather interesting to see the comment on it all. The Internet will always be the Internet and guess i'm kinda scared someone will trash my private stories, or the way i do them, spell etc. If i do this maybe its one less fear to deal with after? Has to count for something right? A big part of me is hoping M will be proud of me for doing it too, for being brave enough to expose a private part of myself and our relationship.

*deep breath* Ok, here it comes. Maybe the first and the last. Or it could be the first of many. i always write them for Him as in You but since its going to be published here i did give it a little re write.

--------------------------
She sits in front of her computer writing a e-mail to one of her female friends. One she hasn't talked to in a very long time when suddenly she feels a pair of hands on her shoulders. Small shivers roll down her spine while the smile on her lips slowly grows from big to huge.

She turns around and places a kiss on His stomach looking up at Him with a sparkle in her eye.
His girl stands up and places a kiss on His cheek whispering "i love You Master" before her kisses slowly moves down across His body, her hands resting on His hips as she pulls Him down on the chair.

She quickly kneels in front of Him as her hands brush up the inside of His thighs. A big smile on her face as her hand gently wrap around His cock at the exact same time as her lips do, smiling up at Him while loudly sucking Him. His eyes meet hers as she looks up at Him happily. His cock quickly grows between her lips as her body rubs against Him.

The smile on her lips soon turn into a grin as she asks with the sweetest voice ever "Master, please let this horny little slut feel Your cock in her pussy.. pleeease?" The wait for a answer is making her nervous as He just looks at her. He finally gives her a nod in reply with a silent "yes you may mine".

 He tells her to stand up and makes her twirl around. She bends forward slightly taking His cock in her hands gently pressing it to her pussy. Her whole body sinking back onto it. A loud moan mixed with a  whimper escapes from her lips. The smile on her face is hard to miss as He fucks her hard.....

Question... do you swallow?

That is todays question. Do you swallow?
Do i really need to clarify what i mean by that.. well in case you are clueless (which i seriously doubt since you're here in the first place) i was talking about cum. 

(Cant believe i'm actually writing this post but i had a strange need to).

Just read the "Business as usual" post over at the A Neo Dom's journey blog and there was a comment about just this. Does the sub of the author take cum in her mouth or not. This has me thinking. Does most women (and men for that matter) swallow or at least willing to take in their mouth. blushes yes i know its a strange, odd, weird thing to be thinking about. i've always been under the impression that most females do. Maybe i was wrong?


This thought also bring me to another question. If you do swallow and you happen to be submissive. Do you do  it to please your Dom/me or cause you like it?

i guess Mr Evil is right, i am nosy.

From M to me

Since we were talking about erotic e-mails etc. i found one from M to me, its only fair i publish one of His if i'm going to publish one of mine right? No worries, i did ask permission first and He did say it was ok. 


----


Your fingertips dig into your skin as you wince, spreading your ass cheeks painfully wide as I thrust once more into your small tight asshole where you only allow your Owner. My heavy breathing over you while my palms press into your sides. You shriek out after another thrust inside you, your skin stretched painfully. Your head lays at the top of the bed unable to hold yourself up, and every time my balls slap against your cunt your head just barely touches the brass headboard. I pause and let out a moan, you take advantage of it to get in a proper breath before pushing back as hard as you can bring yourself to do even before I begin moving again, desperately trying to show me what a bitch you are for the cock splitting your asshole open. A moan from your lips surprises even yourself when your back arches a little bit more.


I grin and push inside you a few more times 'I knew my bitch loved this.' you shake your head muttering out 'no.. no' even if you know it's true. I smack your ass hard, hitting over your hand and you pull it away, releasing one of your own ass cheeks. You start to move it back but before you can my own hand grips in it's place, and pulls you hard, my cock slipping from you. I push you aside, forcing you to the floor growl out 'on your knees' before moving to the edge of the bed myself. You know intimately where my tool has been but your need to serve me is so much more important. By the time you get on your knees my hand is pulling you by your hair as my legs open more, and you shove your mouth down on my length, sucking hard and swirling your tongue around it.


Knowing what your Master loves from your time serving your fingertips move over my cum heavy balls, stroking gently over them. When I pull you up high enough so your throat isn't filled with me, lowering you to my sack you take immediate action. Thanking me for the chance to breath unobstructed, you desperately start lapping at my balls, running your tongue over it, sucking the best you can. I've trained you well and you know better then to leave my hard cock unattended. Quickly you wrap your small hand around me tight, stroking me slowly so that it can be enjoyed above your head while you lap at my balls.


My words interrupt your work 'You've been a good bitch, where do you want my cum slut' almost immediately you reply 'Inside your bitch's cunt Master.' I allow you back on the bed and just say 'show me.' You immediately get on the bed and spread your legs as wide as you can. Your sensitive slit barely touched so far wet dripping wet. You watch my lust filled eyes as I continue to touch myself while your lips are spread wide. You hurriedly stroke your clit, and it's not long before your back moves further away and you start asking to be filled. You finger fuck yourself with one hand while the other keeps moving around your clit, breathing heavier and heavier, desperately aching now. You ask once more and I allow it, pulling your legs around me and pushing my hard cock in between the dripping folds of your sex.


I moan and start moving faster eagerly in need of my own release as your tension builds itself, pushing back the best you can but it's not much. You just keep working your clit with my cock inside you, hoping you'll be allowed to cum with me. You can feel when I'm close and you work your fingers desperately faster, excited when you touch my cock fucking you. You just barely manage to get out 'Please let your.. let your bitch cum Master' I order back to cum with me. We both fight it for a few moments longer, wanting this to last forever, but it feels so good when it doesn't. Unsure if your release triggered mine or I triggered yours we both cum, and just hold each other tight as my seed fills you.


I'm sure your completely focused on work now.


M.

How it all started - a work in progress

DAMN! Had the best post ever and firefox restarted and its gone.

---------------------------

This could be one of those stories about how i knew this was for me and have known for all my life. Sorry but in my case thats bullshit, sure i've always had this need to please and not being able to do just that upsets me. i want people happy and usually do my best to make sure they are. Sadly that has over the years also meant that i've always put others before myself. Which in my book isn't always a good thing. There is a fine line between doing your best and taking it to levels where it hurts you more then do good. What's even more sad is that there will always, always be people that uses your kindness.

So, how did all this start? i dont know, i honestly dont know. Sure i've always been the type of person to like the "kinky". Never the person to say no to rough sex or a set of handcuffs but thats it. About 3,5 years ago I ran into some people on-line who more or less pushed me into the world of D/s. It was exciting, new, fun and in a lot of way liberating. Always being the person to take control over things isn't easy, specially not when you realize you're only doing it cause its a must, not cause its a desire. Somewhere in the middle of all this i met Mr Evil. He was unlike anyone i ever met before and from the first moment we chatted i could tell there was something different about Him. We quickly became friends and then some. Thats how it all started. The journey was beginning.

At first it was all smiles and tons of emotions as He slowly guided me into the world of submission. But things didn't go as planned and i wasn't what he was looking for. Of course i wasn't. At the time i didn't know what i wanted and what to do with myself. We went on to a great friendship with the odd benefit here and there but i could never get The Man out of my head. He was always there and from time to time i even had dreams about him (Shh, dont tell Him that). During all of this i grew as a person and carefully started to figure out what i wanted. There were others (for both of us) but none like Him. There isn't a person in the world that can compete with Mr Evil.

Things continued as a roller coaster between us, there were smiles and there were tears. A lot of emotion passed by both of us for some time as we managed to not hurt only our selfs but also each other. We lost trust in each other and things just faded off into nothing. i can honestly say i was sad and He was missed. A lot of water had to pass under the bridge before we could build up the trust between us again. Now its stronger then ever and i'm so happy to have Him back in my life. i never get to blame things on Him but there is one thing he really needs to take the blame for (actually two but we'll get back to that).

Cause of Him i know myself better then ever before, my confidence is mountain high and i know He'll never ever do anything to make the ground crumble under me. He showed me sides of myself i didn't know was there. He made me love and desire things i used to hate. i can honestly say He makes me a better person and for that i'm thankful. We made it through so much to get here, but you know what. It was all worth it. I wouldn't trade the experience or Him for anything in the world.

Sadly, there is one last thing that has to be crossed. The Atlantic Ocean.

Was it a D/s couple or...

So last week i was strolling around in my favourite clothing store in the underwear department and this "normal" looking couple was standing next to me. my guess both the male and female was around 25-30 years old. The girl was looking at a specific set of underwear that was very transparent and you could understand from their conversation that it would show off her nipples. The male looked and her and shook his head with a loud No. She asked him what he meant and he (without any emotion on his face) said "not discussing this, you know what's allowed and what's not. I said no". She blushes deep red and puts it back on the rack. He put his hand at the back of her neck giving it a squeeze (thats when I saw what was around it). He smiles and tells her what a good girl she was and they walk away.

The whole thing made me smile and i cant help but wonder if this means i actually ran into my first random D/s couple. What do you think?


Why i find this interesting is something i'll have to save for another day and another post.