How it all started - a work in progress

DAMN! Had the best post ever and firefox restarted and its gone.

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This could be one of those stories about how i knew this was for me and have known for all my life. Sorry but in my case thats bullshit, sure i've always had this need to please and not being able to do just that upsets me. i want people happy and usually do my best to make sure they are. Sadly that has over the years also meant that i've always put others before myself. Which in my book isn't always a good thing. There is a fine line between doing your best and taking it to levels where it hurts you more then do good. What's even more sad is that there will always, always be people that uses your kindness.

So, how did all this start? i dont know, i honestly dont know. Sure i've always been the type of person to like the "kinky". Never the person to say no to rough sex or a set of handcuffs but thats it. About 3,5 years ago I ran into some people on-line who more or less pushed me into the world of D/s. It was exciting, new, fun and in a lot of way liberating. Always being the person to take control over things isn't easy, specially not when you realize you're only doing it cause its a must, not cause its a desire. Somewhere in the middle of all this i met Mr Evil. He was unlike anyone i ever met before and from the first moment we chatted i could tell there was something different about Him. We quickly became friends and then some. Thats how it all started. The journey was beginning.

At first it was all smiles and tons of emotions as He slowly guided me into the world of submission. But things didn't go as planned and i wasn't what he was looking for. Of course i wasn't. At the time i didn't know what i wanted and what to do with myself. We went on to a great friendship with the odd benefit here and there but i could never get The Man out of my head. He was always there and from time to time i even had dreams about him (Shh, dont tell Him that). During all of this i grew as a person and carefully started to figure out what i wanted. There were others (for both of us) but none like Him. There isn't a person in the world that can compete with Mr Evil.

Things continued as a roller coaster between us, there were smiles and there were tears. A lot of emotion passed by both of us for some time as we managed to not hurt only our selfs but also each other. We lost trust in each other and things just faded off into nothing. i can honestly say i was sad and He was missed. A lot of water had to pass under the bridge before we could build up the trust between us again. Now its stronger then ever and i'm so happy to have Him back in my life. i never get to blame things on Him but there is one thing he really needs to take the blame for (actually two but we'll get back to that).

Cause of Him i know myself better then ever before, my confidence is mountain high and i know He'll never ever do anything to make the ground crumble under me. He showed me sides of myself i didn't know was there. He made me love and desire things i used to hate. i can honestly say He makes me a better person and for that i'm thankful. We made it through so much to get here, but you know what. It was all worth it. I wouldn't trade the experience or Him for anything in the world.

Sadly, there is one last thing that has to be crossed. The Atlantic Ocean.